Feeling self conscious on here now cuz i'm losing the confidence that no one actually reads this but here goes anyway.
its interesting to watch myself in slowmo, falling for people. i love it so much, its certainly human nature i attest--a biological survival mechanism which i tend to trust. ali told me last night she didn't believe i could not fall, and i told her i'm not trying to not fall, just trying to do it with less attachment and more awareness.
especially as the weirdness rages on the homefront, i am certainly letting it be a refuge. and experiencing a bit of this New World we live in, touching into the ways that we are learning to connect and feel now with the technology of the day. IMAGES--are so impactful and it is deeply image based. fascinating.
dad and Ame Pari arrived today, and already we had a conversation about pursuing further education. its so hard for me not to get riled up but really. there is no need to.
some fave quotes:
re: papirosen, a tragic yiddish song about an orphan selling cigarettes in the rain : I think the message will come across as the lighthearted tribute to cigarette sales-boys everywhere
re: istanbul and whether it is eastern or western europe: The gateway drug to the east then?
and yes this place is a familiar bus stop on the journey down--the river, the falling, what have you. i feel even more trepidatious writing on the other one, as i feel the heat turn up daily and fight to stay present, to not push to relax into what is true and real and present, deeply. this feels like the biggest learning of this time since coming south--that lesson hammered into my head until i begged for the pounding to stop. no good can come of pushing for something that is not, for being anywhere but here, for wanting and dreaming and pulling. in these oh so delicate times, the only proper path is one of SINKING.
its interesting to watch myself in slowmo, falling for people. i love it so much, its certainly human nature i attest--a biological survival mechanism which i tend to trust. ali told me last night she didn't believe i could not fall, and i told her i'm not trying to not fall, just trying to do it with less attachment and more awareness.
especially as the weirdness rages on the homefront, i am certainly letting it be a refuge. and experiencing a bit of this New World we live in, touching into the ways that we are learning to connect and feel now with the technology of the day. IMAGES--are so impactful and it is deeply image based. fascinating.
dad and Ame Pari arrived today, and already we had a conversation about pursuing further education. its so hard for me not to get riled up but really. there is no need to.
some fave quotes:
re: papirosen, a tragic yiddish song about an orphan selling cigarettes in the rain : I think the message will come across as the lighthearted tribute to cigarette sales-boys everywhere
re: istanbul and whether it is eastern or western europe: The gateway drug to the east then?
and yes this place is a familiar bus stop on the journey down--the river, the falling, what have you. i feel even more trepidatious writing on the other one, as i feel the heat turn up daily and fight to stay present, to not push to relax into what is true and real and present, deeply. this feels like the biggest learning of this time since coming south--that lesson hammered into my head until i begged for the pounding to stop. no good can come of pushing for something that is not, for being anywhere but here, for wanting and dreaming and pulling. in these oh so delicate times, the only proper path is one of SINKING.
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