portland--great and scary

so, it looks like i'm moving to portland. in just 2 short weeks. eeek! we're starting out subletting at Tryon Life Community Farm, a permaculture education center/community in the portland city limits, bordered on 3 sides by the 650 acre Tryon Creek State Park. half of me is totally psyched to be moving to this groovy town. they've got a thriving music and art scene, forward thinking city government (including an office of sustainability), lots of green spaces, good public transit and bike-friendly roads. i've started to beat the musical bushes, and have a pretty definite gig with James Faretheewell, who describe themselves this way:

if you were to take a box and put LEONARD COHEN in one corner, Tom Waits in another, JOHN LENNON in another and FREDERICO GARCIA LORCA IN the other, ee would be trying best we could to be somewhere near the middle of that box

I've also found a potential violin teacher, Ben Blechman, who "specializes in various improvisational styles, such as jazz, swing, blues, bluegrass, folk, honky-tonk, avant-garde, etc." there's a whole network of FOF (friends of friends) who live in portland, everyone i've run into on this trip has said they'll come visit, the ocean and mountains are close by and rent is cheap.

That's the excited half speaking. The other half of me is deathly afraid of moving to a new CITY where i don't know anyone (really), need to find a job with my pathetic resume, want to try and break into a firmly established music scene...not to mention find friends, grow my own food, start a local food activist organization, and have a fun and satisfying life that is positively impacting the world.

EEEEK!

meditation list

i just finished another 10 day meditation retreat. frequently, when sitting for 10 days focusing on physical sensations and attempting to remain equanimous, i come up with many brilliant ideas to incorporate into my life. here's some that surfaced this time around.

1. study biology and teach it to children
2. each day, write about and draw something beautiful that i encounter
3. spend 5 minutes every morning giving myself a self-empowerment pep talk in the bathroom mirror.
4. find woodsy nooks to hang out in
5. take dance classes, art classes and hebrew classes at the university
6. bike everywhere
7. work towards holding a more continual physical awareness of my body
8. eat light dinners
9. organize an art show benefit and solicit from all my far flung artsy friends
10. go to Europe: busk and visit communities