god it feels so good to be in my body and sensuality again--today was a day of healing and self-care. meditation, ultimate frisbee, hot sauna and icy pond, self-reiki....and then this sweet hot sweaty raucous dance party for caroline's birthday. the first half, i hung out with willow while sky djed. it was a little bit scary, thinking of him there with all those hot women who want him (one in particular, and its the reciprocity that seers) and, it felt very sweet to hang with willow in the fuzzy tunnels and ball pit, protect from attacking marauders, take care of his needs and just hold space for him. dancing with him on my back was a workout, but so grounding, solid.
still, i felt very cut off and shut down from my full expression. i still hold so much fear and desire to protect sky from feeling bad, hurt. so. i stayed after they left. danced. but DANCED. full on body spirit expression explosion. it felt so good, so full so intensely satisfying to just wallow in my body, sensations, emotions, and dance it all out. touching, rolling, giving in to the waves of rythmic energy sweeping through my body. thank you goddess, gods, planet, ancestors, for the gift of this body and soul in all its manifestations.
Proust's Parlor Game
8 years ago