Thursday, June 23, 2016

forks and lees

it is so head-trippingly, dizzyingly bizarre to be jolted out of my delightfully magical and deeply satisfying all-encompassing reality and thrust suddenly into the parallel universe of what could have would have been.  i would never trade an instance of this one and yet i can see the simultaneous shimmering beauty of what would have could have been.  and i'm so grateful that no matter where this crazy life path take me, or where i take myself, it is without fail:  deeply satisfying.  intensely challenging. filled with love and laughter and delight and fun and music and food and play.  physical edges. emotional edges.....just a beautiful and irreducible gift.

right now:  pistachio ice cream.  gourmet romantic dinners every night.  and breakfast and lunch.  peels of laughter and sweet faces and rough and tumble and that little cowlick that pops up on those delicate foot switches.  giant thunderstorms and endless bran and every day shocked that this is my life.  and yet and yet and yet.  to find out that in fact it was i that gave up and am giving it up and the confusion of that just won't fit with the beauty of here now bounty.