Wednesday, May 21, 2008


sky's 6-year-old son willow is staying with us for 2 weeks! paxus, the other dad, is in oregon and will be around next week, but this first week its just the 3 of us. its really intense to just jump into the deep end of semi-full time kidness. i'm loving it, and of course its triggering and challenging in all sorts of ways.

i've been really enjoying the quest for new and interesting ways to engage and excite him. we've been to the library twice so far, and both times i totally geaked out in the kids section finding books about sharks, glaciers, earthquakes, math story problems, marshes and streams, etc. to share with him. its so amazing to watch him just absorb new information. he's super-smart, and when he's excited about something, utterly transfixed. i also really get into the little nurturing things--packing snacks for a day in town, reading him to sleep and snuggling before bed.

and i sometimes find it really challenging to strike the balance between granting a measure of independence that fosters a strong sense of self, and setting limits and boundaries and sticking to them. also, willow is a child of extremes and can go from ecstatic and sweet, to violent and pouty in a matter of seconds. its been a good practice to try and hold a strong center through his wild mood swings, and to not take it personally when he's upset.

it feels deeply satisfying to connect and engage with willow, and i'm glad to have the opportunity to spend so much time together. its great doing the ordinary, daily things: making snacks and brushing teeth. the city adventures are fun; we've seen Prince Caspian, gone to the library, and spent a day at the OMSI (oregon museum of science and industry) exploring dinosaurs, bog-life, the human body, planets and sea monsters. but for sure my favorite thing is reading with him, watching his mind stretch and bend to understand new concepts and integrate related ideas.

i still vacillate on whether or not i want to have a kid of my own; recently a friend here said that these days, its better to just put more energy towards saving the world and taking care of the kids we've already got on the planet. apparently there's a little girl that wants to be born to sky (as per elizabeth the channel), but sky doesn't want to have a 2 parent kid (at least 3 if not more).

so who knows, but for now its sweet to enjoy willow, and sweeter to know that we'll be in each other's live for the foreseeable future.