Tuesday, April 22, 2008

emma goldman and The Future

"I Want Freedom, the Right to Self-Expression, Everybody's Right to Beautiful Radiant Things" -emma goldman

yay for Seattle! our last stop before landing in portland, we're here for strictly scientific purposes. The Emma Goldman Finishing School, our primary research subject and our digs while in town is a 10 year old, 10 person income sharing collective house in the quiet, hill-top neighborhood of Beacon Hill. Emma's has worked out a complex system to simplify income sharing and labor distribution, using a computer program dubbed "the gizmo." The folks there share income up to a point: this goes towards food, health care, housing, etc. they also have a personal spending cap, and money earned over that level goes into a social justice project fund.

arriving at emma's has been a big relief, and a well-timed reminder. somehow, amidst all the confusion, fear, uncertainty and anxiety of the past weeks, i'd forgotten a few of my core priorities. i'd forgotten that in addition to playing music and growing food, i'm driven to co-create an egalitarian living environment based around shared values, sharing resources, deep engagement and honest communication. The big-picture stuff is exciting and intimidating: legaleze, real-estate, zoning...but i thrive on the sustainable domestic stuff of gardening, baking bread and granola, and cooking and eating meals together. and i feel called to spread the word by talking to folks about ways to step out of the mainstream and re-engage with ourselves and each other in healthy, radical ways. i believe deeply that the revolution must ripple out from strong, grounded, and loving hearts, and that an important way to do this is to create radical, loving, engaged communities.

i got pretty caught in my fear and anxiety, and was dumping alot of it onto a very stretched and patient sky. last night, he cracked and exclaimed "i'm tired of being in trouble with you about this stuff!!" that was another eye-opening mental shifter. i realized suddenly that i don't have to know What We Are or What We're Doing. all i have to do is love him and let him love me. relaxing into that has been a huge relief.