more

and why does it matter?  because of the way she holds me--with her eyes, with her presence.  with her fucking arms and mouth.  with her heart.  because she reaches in and holds mine when it starts to shrink or close.  tipping my chin up when i want to hide and with the gentlest possible hand and a love firm like water.  because there is no hesitation and i can just let go.  because its safe and warm and gentle.  warm rain with thunder rumbling, lightning bolts ripping through.

i will miss the lightening.  but perhaps the rest is still possible.

this is my prayer today