down on the way up

sky's finally released from the 10 day meditation pit of silence--just in time. i spent the morning erranding in a cloud of resigned gloom. it felt good to just let myself feel bad. kinda. and it felt good to rip melon vines out of the ground and hoe the cabbage, pouring my frustrations into the work. i skipped out on our afternoon learning session (palestine/israel for 6th graders) and came back to the house for supper. we've got hella leftovers from the weekend, so i heated up a big mush of squash and collards, roasted onions and nuts and sat outside with the remnants of a bottle of wine watching the sunset and talking to sky. it was nice to be able to relate my internal struggles to someone who knows them inside and out. and its nice to just sit in the struggle, not trying to fix it but just watching it. my voice sounds very deep today.