roller coaster

the roller coaster continues and today i am down down down in the dumps.

yesterday we were supposed to go to jerusalem, but it fell through/was too complicated. there was lots of entertainment around here though as drama abounded between the psycho bougie frenchie and psycho ukrainian hairdresser, ( i guess its boy related), then frenchie had a panic/asthma attack later in the night. its all kind of amusing.

today, i'm exhausted and in pain, physical and emotional. i feel totally alone--the girl i feel closest to here is morally opposed to polyamory/poly families, which makes me feel so warm and open. gershon has abandoned me again, and my stomach hurts from eating weird/bad food. i'm tired. i'm lonely. i'm sad.

such is life.