pain

the pain's sliced deep into my gut now, dug deep, settled in and took my appetite with it. everything thrown into the air again, and my attachment to sky feels fatal to my sanity. how did i end up in this place and why is my room so f'n cold. all i want to do is run down to his room, snuggle up, be held, but i'm losing myself in this crazy connection. losing my grounding, my separateness, my solidity. forcing myself to take steps away from his room, mentally tying myself to the bed so i don't streak down in the middle of the night.

i need a reality check, a voice of sanity, a hand reaching out or arms hugging.