yep, time for another sad n' lonely post. yay! i am so damned sick of these pathetic self-pitying pieces of schlock, honestly. but what can you do.
today i had a plan. with a friend. for after work. i was so excited all day about not having to go home to the dark separateness of my solitary apartment. we were meeting to go see the senior film projects from 2 UF classes, being shown downtown at the Wooly. It was really nice. i guess, i just figured, it being artwalk night and the entire town being out that maybe we'd continue hanging out after but alas.
ach.
2 things
1. i got a message today from a friend that i had randomly reached out to recently on email, and they told me that just this weekend they had been having a particularly low ebb and contemplated killing themselves as well as planning how they would carry it out
2. biking home with the usual rip-in-the-gut of feeling rejected again and utterly alone in the world, i screeched to a stop at an intersection where i didn't have the right of way, right as a car sped around the corner. as the car slowed down the tiniest bit, the driver called out the window not unkindly, "watch for the sign".
so, as usual, i have a choice. watch for the dark gloom (which will find me anyway), or watch for the sign. when i got home, i reached deep to the very bottom of my mailbox, begging it to deliver. and, lo and behold, a tiny envelope all the way at the bottom:
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today i had a plan. with a friend. for after work. i was so excited all day about not having to go home to the dark separateness of my solitary apartment. we were meeting to go see the senior film projects from 2 UF classes, being shown downtown at the Wooly. It was really nice. i guess, i just figured, it being artwalk night and the entire town being out that maybe we'd continue hanging out after but alas.
ach.
2 things
1. i got a message today from a friend that i had randomly reached out to recently on email, and they told me that just this weekend they had been having a particularly low ebb and contemplated killing themselves as well as planning how they would carry it out
2. biking home with the usual rip-in-the-gut of feeling rejected again and utterly alone in the world, i screeched to a stop at an intersection where i didn't have the right of way, right as a car sped around the corner. as the car slowed down the tiniest bit, the driver called out the window not unkindly, "watch for the sign".
so, as usual, i have a choice. watch for the dark gloom (which will find me anyway), or watch for the sign. when i got home, i reached deep to the very bottom of my mailbox, begging it to deliver. and, lo and behold, a tiny envelope all the way at the bottom:
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