today was a day when i often felt like crawling out of my skin and flogging myself. it started on a sour note and seems to be ending on one. hormonal swings make it tough to remember that everything is constantly changing, each moment a fresh opportunity.
alot of the shit i was spewing this morning landed on sky, still we dug up the garlic patch-to-be and got a stereo from a craigslist dude. driving around endless post-urban sprawl was my first descent into The Pit. my absolute least favorite activity, buying shit (groceries, speaker cable) and driving around endlessly. blueberry-banana-clementine-maple smoothie helped, and meditating and showering did wonders. the bike ride to brian and cassandra's was completely delightful, feeling strong and flying down hills.
the hormones will just flare and take over, dragging me along spitting fire. its a bit alarming and disturbing. picked a fight with alexis over nothing, and ended up upstairs in tears. i could rant but as sky said, why bother generating more negativity.
on a bright note, our meeting, the first face to face urban design council, was totally awe-inspiring and amazing. we have a totally rad group of people with the perfect skill set and energy to work. and a 5-3 F-M gender ration!
i have a feeling the next week or so is going to be a bumpy ride as my hormones drag me through the dirt. hopefully i can get a few seeds in the ground along the way...
Proust's Parlor Game
14 years ago
2 comments:
sounds like a bit of a rough ride. But given the audience, it also sounds like nothing a few "oh i was out of sorts, plz dont make it mean things it did not mean" would patch things up.
i yelled at the german train person who thought they were helping, when willow fell between the train and the platform today. [but Hawina says it is only the second time she has seen such behavior out of me.]
i actually ended up having a pretty great conversation with alexis after writing this, it ended with him saying, "yeah, i think its fine for you to ask me not to shoot down all your ideas. and i encourage you and sky to empower yourselves at my expense." can't beat good 'ol direct communication...
and luckily my hormones seem to have mellowed out a bit.
i'm curious, what was the first time?
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