there's a steady refrain that sounds like this:
you're inneffectual. you're not interesting, charismetic, intelligent enough. you're too socially awkward and bad at connecting with other people. you're not creative or hard working enough to create what you want in the world.
i'm tired of hearing this refrain, and of creating this reality by replaying it in my head.
Proust's Parlor Game
14 years ago
2 comments:
It's the demons; they say that stuff to me all the time. It really helps to know the Truth in order to combat them.
I think maybe I should add you to the list of those for whom I pray!
At Burning Man a few years ago (3?), there was an art installation way out in the middle of the playa, away from everything else. It was a chair with a pole standing next to it, and hanging from a hook on the pole was a set of headphones. I sat in the chair and put on the headphones, and through them came the barrage of those self-depreciating messages, in alternating male and female voices. I listened for maybe five minutes, feeling the familiarity of many of the invectives. When I felt done, I lifted the headphones away... and was amazed by the *silence*. THAT seemed to be the gift of the art piece -- the experience of taking the headphones off and coming back to real, sensory experience, beyond the evalauative and judgemental mind...
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