Saturday, May 17, 2008

my day

this one was rich and interesting.

We started off with a trip to the library (oldest library west of the mississippi!) to get some books for willow's visit (2 roald dahl classics, james and the giant peach/danny the champion of the world). Then on to the northeast earth institute to meet with Martin Tull, the national organizer for the Northwest Earth Institute. NWEI creates curriculums for self-guided small group discussion courses to “empower individuals and organizations to protect ecological systems.” They just put out a discussion course on food called “Menu for the future.” We hashed out a bunch of stuff help out with in our limited time: networking with relevant organizations to start discussion groups around food, doing outreach around town, starting a group/s through TLC farm, working on the local action resource sheet, etc.

Then we headed over to pioneer square to meet up with paxus and willow, and roly poly, willow's stuffed tiger. I sat in the back with willow on the ride home, and we chatted about the river, many bridges, the weather (he'd read a paper and updated me on the highs and lows for the week). he also explained that if you flametorch sand, it turns into glass, and if every cell in your body was the size of sand, your body would be the size of a building.

Back at the farm, we had some lunch, then I headed out into the garden and blazing sun(!!!) for some hoeing and weed pile transport. At some point, a group of kids arrived for their regular work day, high schoolers from a local private school that is democratically run with the kids. They were really sweet and engaged, and very hard working. I helped a couple of them transplant peppers in the green house, and at the end of the shift we all circled up and reflected on the afternoon.

After that I tracked down one of the cedar moonies for a systems and structures interview: one of our projects here is to interview all the members about what's working and what's not under the current systems, structures, and policies, then present this information with some proposed solutions. We sat in the shade, munching on popcorn and chatting about the underlying problematic dynamics in the community.

After meditating, I went straight over to supper around the big round table, sushi tonight, with lots of wasabi and some cucumber salad, super yum!! Then 8 of us loaded into Grandpa, Russ's giant oldschool truck, complete with a wobbly horse on the dashboard. We filled up all the seats, so paxus and brush, with his injured foot, sat in open cab (legal in Oregon if you've filled all the seatbelts). We were going to a meeting of ReCode Portland, a group of folks based out of TLC farm that is working to change the building codes in the city to accommodate sustainable and green building (composting toilets, dense living spaces, cob out buildings, etc). It was totally edifying to observe their organizational process. The conversation vaccilated between big picture visioning, and concrete, immediate actions to implement that vision.

After the meeting, we stopped at the People's co op for organic coconut milk ice cream (cherry amaretto for me), and then headed home. After briefly checking in with sky, and sharing the rest of my ice cream, a few of us met at the moonlit stage for a small women's full moon gathering. The night was balmy and bright, we called in the directions and then took turns sharing and checking in. Even though each of us is in a very different place in our own life journey, there were tons of overlaps, a great reminder that we are all part of larger cycles that are bigger than the stories we make about them.

Now willow is snoring, sprawled out on the air mattress. Sky is snuggled in bed, waiting for me to crawl in next to him, and I feel very awake and charged. I have meaningful work that i'm excited about, i'm living on a beautiful farm, I get to work outside in the dirt, ride my bike all the time, talk with engaged, inspiring people, engage in projects that are exciting and meaningful, develop as a musician, and share it all with a loving, brilliant, feminist, compassionate, endlessly patient, cuddly bundle of love...I feel very full.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

longing to root

i just got off the phone with a soul sister (and brand new mama) back in virginia. it was a relief to share some of my creeping doubts and insecurities and hear them reflected back and refracted through her lens. being in a new place and community, its hard to find outlets for this stuff and it just FESTERS and gets all scary and grnarly inside my brain. my biggest doubt/confusion right now is the seeming potential conflict between my life desires and sky's.

i feel ready to root, dig down deep and plant my feet. build community around me, shake things up, foment revolution; YES, absolutely. but i want that to come out of a deep sense of home and rooted connection. sky's energy is explosive right now--enough to set off a dozen revolutions. i don't want to hold him back from that, i want to fully support and participate in that...and there's this seed of doubt, that right now in our lives we are seeking fundamentally different things.

i recently read a quote from Abraham-Hicks, something to the effect of: stop asking other people what you ought to do--give them a break for once. go inside, get quiet, the answers are there waiting for you.